Summer · 2025
— A Chronicle of Captain Julie the Merciless —
"I have been a pirate my whole life. I have known no other way.
This summer, I finally become the captain I am meant to be."
Sail On
Summer 2025
Four ports. Four great works. One relentless captain.
Click a port to read more
Four great works to be completed before the summer ends.
Every captain worth her salt needs the wardrobe to match. This summer I'll be hand-sewing a complete pirate wardrobe from scratch — period-accurate shirts, breeches, waistcoats, and whatever other garments an 18th-century seafarer might need to cut a formidable figure on the open water.
No merchant vessels will be harmed in the acquisition of fabric. Probably.
Articles of the Wardrobe
A pirate without a vessel is merely a woman with a sword. This summer I will personally build a ship — or at the very least, a seaworthy vessel of some variety. Cedar and determination are the primary materials.
The build will be accompanied by learning celestial navigation, knot-tying, and several new seafaring skills. And a pelagic birding trip, obviously.
Skills to Master
A captain is nothing without her crew. I will be hosting a full-scale treasure hunt party for my friends — hand-drawn maps, cryptic riddles, buried bounty, period-accurate provisions, and all the drama a proper pirate adventure requires.
All participants will be expected to take the Code seriously. Those who do not shall be made to walk the plank. (The plank is decorative. Probably.)
The Hunt Includes
What is a pirate summer without music? I will be writing and self-recording an album of sea-faring songs — shanties, ballads, and whatever other maritime music the ocean demands of me.
Sea shanty nights at local taverns will provide research. The recording process will provide chaos. The resulting album will provide something for my friends to giggle at.
Tracklist TBD
Beyond the four main ports, the summer will be full of expeditions, experiments, and adventures.
Expedition
Walking the decks of history. Research and reverence in equal measure.
Expedition
Into open water to spot seabirds. A captain must know her horizon.
Revelry
At local taverns. Research, camaraderie, and perhaps a dram of rum.
Navigation
Trips to unfamiliar waters. Every ocean has secrets worth finding.
Artistry
Fabricating interesting pieces where craft meets piracy.
Ongoing
An incidental but integral component of the summer programme.
The Articles of Agreement
Signed & sealed in blood ink,
Captain Julie the Merciless
Commander, The Crimson Tide · Est. 2025
Dispatches from the Helm
The map is drawn. The code is signed. The captain is ready. Full dispatches to follow.
This entry has not yet been written. The captain is still sailing.
More entries to follow. Check Instagram & YouTube for live updates.
Live from the High Seas
The captain documents her journey in real time. Follow along and prepare to giggle.